Reflections On Being A Mom In The Experiential Marketing Industry
Thank God for Mother’s Day, am I right? This year, I got to sleep in, was treated to thoughtful gifts and cards from my family and found some time to rest and relax. I needed it badly. [In all fairness, so does my husband, and his turn is in June].
At RED VELVET, we always post a little something to commemorate the day. We’re so grateful for our mothers and to be mothers (whether they be to humans, pets or plants :)), and it’s nice to acknowledge these relationships.
Internally we got to talking about what it’s like to be a mother (really, a parent) in this business. I come from advertising, where it’s not much different by way of hours, but somehow experiential marketing and events - because it spans so much - manages to eclipse that by way of time and mind share.
I was asked these questions of a colleague:
As a mom, how do you explain to small children why you have to spend time away from them while you are at work?
How did you show confidence and preparedness when returning to work after having a child?
What questions should I ask potential employees about expectations and accommodations as a working mom?
All GREAT questions. There are a gazillion ways to answer them of course but here’s my stab, in no particular order.
VP, Strategy & Growth, Hayden Lockaby w/ husband, Anthony, and kids.
Being a mom is an incredibly humbling experience. My two little ones are almost 3 ½ and 1 ½ as I write this. Most days it’s my most rewarding work. Other days it’s so hard. Balance becomes something you find, then lose, then find again. You realize that you’re never actually going to achieve equilibrium but that doesn’t stop you from trying. You are pulled in a million directions and most of the time you don’t mind it because being needed by those you love is rewarding and beautiful and the highest honor. You don’t know how you’re going to manage it all, and sometimes you don’t but most of the time you figure out how to pull it off. That is also rewarding. Checking off a “to-do” list, which used to be thrilling, you realize is NOT the goal, but the means to a much bigger, grander end.
You juggle all your “responsibilities” and try to do so with grace and finesse, as these little ones are watching your every move and learning how to “be” in this world. You fail often at this, but you keep trying and if you’re lucky like me, you have a partner gently reminding you of this goal and helps you get back on track. If you’re extra lucky, like me, your work colleagues do too.
Maternity feels like an eternity ago, but quite possibly was the best time of your life, because it was just you and your little family and though you missed the office and your friends there, and the work itself and creating things with your hands, and having adult conversations and solving big, strategic problems, you know this time is fleeting and precious. You don’t mind the barf and the tears and diaper deluge. You’re going to miss this time and you know it.
You return to work hopeful and fresh-faced. Or a complete mess. It’s a toss-up really, and I was both with each of my children. You start to re-integrate, but it’s slow and lightning-fast at the same time. You feel out of touch because how can anyone possibly know the love you feel for these children that you leave for work each day? Don’t they understand?? Yes. And no. It is supposed to be this way. You place them in the hands of a daycare that might possibly be an extension of your family because that’s how much you trust them and they love your children like they are their own. Extra lucky.
A month or two goes by. You’re back in the flow. You may feel guilty - sometimes - for enjoying working as much as you do. And working as much as you do. You get a sense of accomplishment from your days - YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS and you can SEE and FEEL it at work. Children take longer. They get to an age where their little personalities no longer want to cooperate with yours. You mourn them as babies when they didn’t have an opinion but rejoice that they are finally becoming self-sufficient little wonders that make you laugh and want to cry all at the same time.
Because they are older they also start to notice when you are gone. You explain “mommy has to work” and you close the door and get into your car and you are sad but you are also excited because of what you’re leaving to go do. You hope this shows and make a vow to ensure they know “mommy works hard and loves what she does”, so that they will one day strive for this too.
You realize that you are wasting less time. You remember what it was like to be lazy and acknowledge those days are longggg gone. You’re making the most of every minute because you WANT bigger, better things for yourself and for your family. You are tired and yes, you are the cliché but most days, that is a-ok.
I get questions all the time from candidates about how to balance it all. There is no balance. You can only follow your heart and do what you love. I happen to love being a mom AND working and I make it work. I forget this sometimes and revert to my single self that wants nothing more than to come home from the office and crash on the couch with a large bowl of pasta and jarred vodka sauce (this is my guilty pleasure). But then I remember the reward and my priorities slide back into place.
People in our business put their heart into everything they do. They are achievers and dreamers and makers and producers. I believe it takes these things to be the kind of parent I am and what I learn from both “jobs” has cross-application.
I am extra lucky.
Need some strategic insight for your next brand activation? We’d love to hear from you.
